As believers in Jesus Christ and as human beings, we love mountaintop experiences. It feels good to be on top of the world, to experience victory, success, joy and satisfaction. However, the highest highs must be followed by the lowest lows, the peaks that veer downhill at an alarming angle, or slowly taper out to a plateau. Most of our lives are lived either climbing the mountains or going down the other side.
Why am I writing about this? You guessed it. My life seems like an endless plateau right now, and it is easy to look back and question why things can't come as easily as they did in earlier years. Sure, I had my struggles in high school and college, some very serious, but life was exciting. Everything was fresh, new, invigorating, just waiting to be discovered. Ministries were incredibly fruitful, and relationships were deep and meaningful. Now I fight apathy, fight to not numb the pain I feel when I give repeatedly for months or years to others, investing in their lives, hearts, souls and minds and receive nothing in return. Little fruit, appreciation or even acknowledgment of any effort. Just getting back up the next morning to share Jesus Christ's love and truth again, to serve again, to put my selfish desires aside again. This is real life.
Oh, God's blessings are here, and they are abundant, never ending, a constant river of mercy and love washing over me. I have to search harder to find them, discipline myself to detail and recognize His gifts in a journal, to turn off the radio and pray aloud, acknowledging His presence. He is so good.
Do I want change? Yes. Do I long for answers to the many questions inside about my future? Desperately. Do I want to care less about what others think and say and listen only to my Savior? Yes. It is a process. There was a time I thought I was a good Christian, but no longer do I fool myself. Only by His grace and goodness am I anything worthwhile.
Lord Jesus, on the mountain's tops or in the deepest valley, be glorified and make Your will known and accomplished in my life.
