"how beautiful the tender eyes that chose to forgive and never despise..."-twila paris, how beautiful
this is an incredibly powerful and moving song, combining scriptural lyrics with beautifully flowing music. i have the privilege of singing it this weekend for a friend's wedding.
this line grabbed my attention.
"how beautiful the tender eyes that chose to forgive and NEVER despise."
Jesus chose to look on His oppressors, and on all human beings, with forgiveness, rather than despising them for all the pain, suffering and heartbreak they caused Him.
i need to take a leaf out of Jesus' book here.
it is so easy to despise those i love, to hold back forgiveness and hold onto anger, offended by thoughtless, outrageously selfish actions and attitudes that others have towards me, without stopping to think that my response is just as selfish as their actions.
sigh.
time to begin again.
tonight i'm going to make a list of things i love about a person who i'm having a hard time forgiving, so i can focus on those instead of the ways this person has hurt me.
ten thousand reasons for my heart to sing, "praise the Lord, oh my soul, worship His holy name. sing like never before, oh my soul, worship His holy name."
reasons to praise-
He gives me music
i get to sing at a wedding
He used human beings to write an incredible song!
He gave me a voice that i love to share with others
He gave me a friend who is getting married :D
He revealed and reveals every day His pure and precious love and how I need to change to be more like Him
He chose to forgive and never despise
by His grace I can forgive and let go of resentment and anger
all things are possible to those who believe!
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Sunday, October 21, 2012
The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes- matt redman, 10,000 Reasons
God has been illuminating some things in my life, or to put it more bluntly, giving me a kick in the pants about a lot of things.
This year has hands down been the most difficult year of my life spiritually, and most of it has been my fault. (Don't you hate it when you have to admit something is your fault? Sigh.) Despite that, God has extravagantly showered blessings on me, from a new job with twice the hours and three times the pay with coworkers I enjoy spending time with, to friends! finally! so worth the wait!, to taking off in my photography, to blossoming relationships with the teenagers in my life, to a deeper and more meaningful relationship with my husband, to financial, physical and mental provision to start college, to absolutely LOVING and excelling in my classes. Each time I stumble and fall, He picks me up and sets me on the right path again. I have run up against brick walls, banging my head and leaving myself with a headache and scars. I have shook my fist and screamed and cried at God and told Him I didn't like His plan and that I wanted to make my own. I have broken His heart with my irreverance, and yet He still takes me back, every time, and blesses me extravagantly beyond belief or reason when I fully surrender to Him and obey Him.
One thing I have struggled with and certainly broken God's heart with throughout my life is my self-image. At twenty-three years old, I still struggle to see myself as my Creator sees me, and I have so little grace for my shortfallings. He is slowly but surely, with my husband's help, teaching me to see myself as God's precious and beautiful creation who is but a vessel of God's love and grace to the world, and that whatever shortfallings I have, He is stronger and He can use even my weaknesses for His glory in the most unbelievable ways. I am learning to let go of what doesn't matter in the grand scheme of eternity. For example: It's okay to have a dirty floor sometimes, or not be able to keep up with the dog fur that is always.everywhere.on everything. no matter how much I clean! It's okay that I dyed my hair too dark and it's not as pretty as my natural color. (I mean God forbid I not look perfect at all times!) It's okay to not cook a meal every evening, and to have random homecooked meals a few times a week. It's okay that my car is a traveling closet/desk/emergency kit that isn't usually clean.
God is teaching me to relax, slow down and laugh at adversities (well, at least the small ones). Over the past two and a half months, I have had three flat tires within the span of three weeks, a starter that went out, a shock that went out, resulting in a loud kerthunkathunka thudthud rattlerattle everywhere I drove, a friend's car that died while our car was dead and she was out of town!, a toilet tank that cracked down the middle, drains that have clogged about once a month, and a washer with very unique stopping and starting problems. At one time, all of these small problems would have caused a meltdown, but now, by God's grace, I laugh. My father-in-law says often that life is either a comedy or tragedy, depending on how you look at it. This has become my mantra for the ridiculous and inconvenient situations that often arise in life. I have to laugh, and I love that God gives me situations to laugh. I mean, our toilet tank cracked at about midnight, BANG (it was pretty loud),and then we heard a lot of trickling as the water started running out! Also, all of these situations give me an opportunity to praise God for having every expense covered, no debt, and finally, by God's grace alone, a small nest egg in the bank! God is so good!
I hope these ramblings have been of an encouragement to you in whatever is happening in your life. God is good! God is real! God will come through no matter what you are facing right now. I encourage you to seek His face, surrender your will, and don't run into brick walls like I have! They usually don't budge unless God wants them to. :D
Blessings and love,
Abby
no reason for this picture. this is winchester.
God has been illuminating some things in my life, or to put it more bluntly, giving me a kick in the pants about a lot of things.
This year has hands down been the most difficult year of my life spiritually, and most of it has been my fault. (Don't you hate it when you have to admit something is your fault? Sigh.) Despite that, God has extravagantly showered blessings on me, from a new job with twice the hours and three times the pay with coworkers I enjoy spending time with, to friends! finally! so worth the wait!, to taking off in my photography, to blossoming relationships with the teenagers in my life, to a deeper and more meaningful relationship with my husband, to financial, physical and mental provision to start college, to absolutely LOVING and excelling in my classes. Each time I stumble and fall, He picks me up and sets me on the right path again. I have run up against brick walls, banging my head and leaving myself with a headache and scars. I have shook my fist and screamed and cried at God and told Him I didn't like His plan and that I wanted to make my own. I have broken His heart with my irreverance, and yet He still takes me back, every time, and blesses me extravagantly beyond belief or reason when I fully surrender to Him and obey Him.
One thing I have struggled with and certainly broken God's heart with throughout my life is my self-image. At twenty-three years old, I still struggle to see myself as my Creator sees me, and I have so little grace for my shortfallings. He is slowly but surely, with my husband's help, teaching me to see myself as God's precious and beautiful creation who is but a vessel of God's love and grace to the world, and that whatever shortfallings I have, He is stronger and He can use even my weaknesses for His glory in the most unbelievable ways. I am learning to let go of what doesn't matter in the grand scheme of eternity. For example: It's okay to have a dirty floor sometimes, or not be able to keep up with the dog fur that is always.everywhere.on everything. no matter how much I clean! It's okay that I dyed my hair too dark and it's not as pretty as my natural color. (I mean God forbid I not look perfect at all times!) It's okay to not cook a meal every evening, and to have random homecooked meals a few times a week. It's okay that my car is a traveling closet/desk/emergency kit that isn't usually clean.
God is teaching me to relax, slow down and laugh at adversities (well, at least the small ones). Over the past two and a half months, I have had three flat tires within the span of three weeks, a starter that went out, a shock that went out, resulting in a loud kerthunkathunka thudthud rattlerattle everywhere I drove, a friend's car that died while our car was dead and she was out of town!, a toilet tank that cracked down the middle, drains that have clogged about once a month, and a washer with very unique stopping and starting problems. At one time, all of these small problems would have caused a meltdown, but now, by God's grace, I laugh. My father-in-law says often that life is either a comedy or tragedy, depending on how you look at it. This has become my mantra for the ridiculous and inconvenient situations that often arise in life. I have to laugh, and I love that God gives me situations to laugh. I mean, our toilet tank cracked at about midnight, BANG (it was pretty loud),and then we heard a lot of trickling as the water started running out! Also, all of these situations give me an opportunity to praise God for having every expense covered, no debt, and finally, by God's grace alone, a small nest egg in the bank! God is so good!
I hope these ramblings have been of an encouragement to you in whatever is happening in your life. God is good! God is real! God will come through no matter what you are facing right now. I encourage you to seek His face, surrender your will, and don't run into brick walls like I have! They usually don't budge unless God wants them to. :D
Blessings and love,
Abby
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Let my heart be broken....
Have you ever heard someone say, "Be careful when you pray for patience. God is going to give you occasions for patience like never before"?Something similar has happened in my life over the past few weeks. I began praying for an awareness of others' eternal destiny, and opportunity to build relationships with others and share Christ's gospel of saving grace with them. God brought to my attention a deep and desperate need to care for the souls of others, to be awake, alive and painfully aware of the souls of others, the undeniable fact that the soul of each person in my life is eternal and will spend eternity either in heaven or in hell. At times I don't like this fact, and I can understand why many choose to not believe in an afterlife at all, because believing in one means there must be some sort of choice or action taken here on earth to ensure a good afterlife. As a believer in Jesus Christ, I believe that all humans have sinned (Romans 6:23) and thus cannot measure up to God's standard of perfection He requires for a human to spend eternity with Him in His heaven (Romans 6:23, Psalm 5:4). I believe that God requires death as payment for sin (Romans 3:23). I believe that Jesus Christ was God in human form who came to earth, lived a sinlessly perfect life and died a painful, sacrificial death on a cross to pay for the sins of all who would trust in Him alone for salvation to get to heaven (John 3:16, Titus 3:5). I believe that salvation or eternal life in heaven is a gift and that all one must do to receive it is trust in Christ's death as full payment for one's sins (Acts 16:31, Romans 3:23).
However, I understand that many people do not believe in God. Many do not believe the Bible is a historically proven and trustworthy Book. Many believe that God does not exist and that the Bible is full of fairy tales, and trying to take an objective viewpoint, I don't blame them. This world is filled with grief, anguish and suffering, and if I personally hadn't spent years of my life learning about the historical and archeological proofs for the Bible and seeing God at work firsthand in my life and others' lives, I would probably be on the same page as those skeptics.
Making this one huge step more personal, God has brought one particular person into my life for whom my heart breaks and cries out to God. God has placed me in a job that is full of open doors, with coworkers of all ages, walks of life and religious beliefs. One new co-worker just started this weekend, and we had some great talks on his first day, discussing society, our current public education system, the pros and cons of college, and our future plans. He is a very passionate person and I caught a little extra spark and fire for my current life situation and future plans just from our short discussions. Last night I found out that he doesn't believe in God, thinks that God is evil if He does exist, and believes there is no afterlife but rather a cessation of existence. I can usually distract myself with books, movies, exercise, art, or something else when I am upset, but last night nothing distracted me. I lay awake praying and woke up this morning praying for him. I know this is God's way of showing me how unbelievably selfish I have been to keep His gospel to myself, but I didn't know it would be this difficult. I praise God for the opportunity to make my faith more real and really delve into apologetics again as I haven't since bible school. There have been some very strange situations in my local Christian community since I have moved here, and sometimes it feels ( note the word feels) like Christianity in this area is false, just something to do or be when the church doors are open. Of course I know this isn't true, but I believe God is really showing me this in a personal way right now. He is demonstrating that He is very real, and that I need to delve deeper than I've been in years, to study, present truth, and agonize of the souls of those I love.
God, thank you for this opportunity. Make me strong enough for this task. Let my heart be broken for the things which break Thine heart.
However, I understand that many people do not believe in God. Many do not believe the Bible is a historically proven and trustworthy Book. Many believe that God does not exist and that the Bible is full of fairy tales, and trying to take an objective viewpoint, I don't blame them. This world is filled with grief, anguish and suffering, and if I personally hadn't spent years of my life learning about the historical and archeological proofs for the Bible and seeing God at work firsthand in my life and others' lives, I would probably be on the same page as those skeptics.
Making this one huge step more personal, God has brought one particular person into my life for whom my heart breaks and cries out to God. God has placed me in a job that is full of open doors, with coworkers of all ages, walks of life and religious beliefs. One new co-worker just started this weekend, and we had some great talks on his first day, discussing society, our current public education system, the pros and cons of college, and our future plans. He is a very passionate person and I caught a little extra spark and fire for my current life situation and future plans just from our short discussions. Last night I found out that he doesn't believe in God, thinks that God is evil if He does exist, and believes there is no afterlife but rather a cessation of existence. I can usually distract myself with books, movies, exercise, art, or something else when I am upset, but last night nothing distracted me. I lay awake praying and woke up this morning praying for him. I know this is God's way of showing me how unbelievably selfish I have been to keep His gospel to myself, but I didn't know it would be this difficult. I praise God for the opportunity to make my faith more real and really delve into apologetics again as I haven't since bible school. There have been some very strange situations in my local Christian community since I have moved here, and sometimes it feels ( note the word feels) like Christianity in this area is false, just something to do or be when the church doors are open. Of course I know this isn't true, but I believe God is really showing me this in a personal way right now. He is demonstrating that He is very real, and that I need to delve deeper than I've been in years, to study, present truth, and agonize of the souls of those I love.
God, thank you for this opportunity. Make me strong enough for this task. Let my heart be broken for the things which break Thine heart.
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